What happens when you finally find a local AP (affair partner) who seems promising?
You rejoice!
- He’s attached/married. Will not blow up your life (working off the principal of mutually assured destruction).
- He’s witty! He can string sentences together enough to make you laugh. Nothing better than a sense of humor that aligns.
- He has sane expectations. He doesn’t think that you are “the one” and you’ll run away together.
- He’s not a first-timer. Oh, I’ve written plenty about not wanting to “teach the ropes” to an adultery newbie who could become a wild card.
- He’s over his remorse for cheating. Morality and his lack of it are safely compartmentalized. No pesky guilt king complex to manage.
- He won’t ghost. He’s been around the adultery block and knows the cheating protocol.
- He knows how to cover his tracks. Directly tied to above. A man who can be a “sucessful” affair partner is worth his weight in gold.
- He’s entertaining and enthusiastic. Yes, bring it. You don’t have a lover who is like your husband at home. Never pays you attention, doesn’t notice your hair or makeup, and barely nods when you tell a story.
- He’s got some sexual talent from the pointed conversations you’ve had. You hope and pray they materialize in real life.
- He’s got dick game.
- He is confident in the way that gets your panties wet. Hmmm.
- He checks so many boxes.
Except for the pic exhange.
He’s not that great at taking selfies. You aren’t repulsed, but you aren’t feeling like this guy has the necessary sexiness to make your skirt drop.
It could be his hair. Teeth. Jaw. Whatever. It’s something that’s throwing you off.
It could be a deal breaker or not. Who knows?
I usually assume that men and women look better in real life than in a selfie. I know I take lousy pics. I’ve written about it.
Selfies suck, yet they are a necessary evil in adultery.
You have to sell yourself. And be more desirable than your competition. It’s not so easy, I’ve found.
Know your best assets. Angles. Lighting. Spark desire with subtle cues. Revealing slowly. Building lust.
But when are good looks dependent on sexual chemistry? They may or may not be. I’ve written about my lovers being wildly different looking from one another.
Attraction is a weird elusive beast. And the biggest erogenous zone is between my ears, of course.
A guy could be model-handsome, yet dumb isn’t going to land me naked and willing in bed.
Sense of humor, personality, intelligence, go a long way in vetting a potential affair partner. Pics lie.
They aren’t always the true barometer for an individual. Some people just don’t photograph well.
Just “meh” could turn into a “swoon.”
You never know until you meet…
…
Readers, tell me your pic exchange stories! I want them. The good and the ugly…lol.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Marc Kleen on Unsplash
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